Sunday, March 24, 2013

Moving On

Asalaamu alaykum rahmatallahi wa barakato ~
May the peace, mercy and blessings of God be with you ~

In two months I will (in sh Allah (God Willing)) graduate from college.  And although I am feeling incredibly excited,  blessed, happy; I'm also filled with a multitude of other emotions --

mainly, anxiety.

I am a girl who does not deal well in change.  I've gone through several "adjustment periods" in the past four years, just to cope with changes that I've undergone.

I mean, if I move -- there goes my sanity.

New school -- forget the calm, normal Albie you know and love.  And hello neuroses.

I don't know what it is.  I think because my parents stressed making my life as continuous as possible when I was a kid, I'm now sort of paralyzed when it comes to any major life events.

Which stinks.  

How did I end up marrying a foreigner, changing my religion, and moving hours from home?  I mean, you would think someone like me would end up in the same place she grew up, doing the same exact thing day after day.  Picture a cat lady eating bran flakes and watching the exact same T.V. show for years.  That's what I would be like, if I let my anxieties get the best of me.

Whatever God wills, that's what happens.  And it just so happens that I am meant to have a life fraught with huge changes every couple years or so.

So I gotta learn to deal.  Goodbye, cat lady obscurity -- hello, brave new world.  Here I come, ready or not.

May Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala (glorified and exalted be he)) teach me to be more resilient in the face of fear and change.

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