May the peace, mercy and blessings of God be with you ~
In two months I will (in sh Allah (God Willing)) graduate from college. And although I am feeling incredibly excited, blessed, happy; I'm also filled with a multitude of other emotions --
mainly, anxiety.
I am a girl who does not deal well in change. I've gone through several "adjustment periods" in the past four years, just to cope with changes that I've undergone.
I mean, if I move -- there goes my sanity.
New school -- forget the calm, normal Albie you know and love. And hello neuroses.
I don't know what it is. I think because my parents stressed making my life as continuous as possible when I was a kid, I'm now sort of paralyzed when it comes to any major life events.
Which stinks.
How did I end up marrying a foreigner, changing my religion, and moving hours from home? I mean, you would think someone like me would end up in the same place she grew up, doing the same exact thing day after day. Picture a cat lady eating bran flakes and watching the exact same T.V. show for years. That's what I would be like, if I let my anxieties get the best of me.
Whatever God wills, that's what happens. And it just so happens that I am meant to have a life fraught with huge changes every couple years or so.
So I gotta learn to deal. Goodbye, cat lady obscurity -- hello, brave new world. Here I come, ready or not.
May Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala (glorified and exalted be he)) teach me to be more resilient in the face of fear and change.
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